Wing Notes

 

Newsletter of the

 

 

 

April 2008

 

Wings among the parsley

What’s Inside?

 

The Editor Writes

The President Speaks

The Secretary’s Desk

Overnite in Armidale

Halfway to Armidale

One More Article

Skills update

Pot Luck Dinner

Armidale Week-end Ride

Queensland Ride Calendar

Victorian Ride Calendar

March General Minutes

 

 

www.auswingriders.com

Australian Wing Riders Association (Qld) Inc

PO Box 719, Ashgrove    Qld     4060

 

Wing Notes

OFFICIAL MAGAZINE OF THE AUSTRALIAN WING RIDERS ASSOCIATION QLD INCORPORATED

 

 

EDITOR:.............Bevan Bradford

Phone:  07 3822 3512

Mobile 0408 714 000

E-Mail:     mail @ auswingriders.com

 

Wing Notes is produced with the object of keeping members informed about matters of interest to AWRA members.  A electronic copy of each issue is available to every financial member of the AWRA.  Copies are also distributed to selected motorcycle dealers in the greater Brisbane area

Submissions for inclusion in Wing Notes should be with the Editor no later than the Friday following the monthly meeting, i.e.: Friday after the 1st Monday of the month.

DISCLAIMER:  Although Wing Notes will endeavour to reproduce submissions in their original form it reserves the right to edit submissions as it sees fit.  Views expressed in contributed articles in Wing Notes are not necessarily those of the AWRA or the Editor.  Wing Notes is produced with care, in good faith and from sources believed to be accurate at the time of writing.

 

 

Management Committee:

Meetings:

President

Bill Carter (07) 5564 8996

E-mail: carterbm @ bigpond.net.au

Secretary

Val Thomas (07) 3848 0498

E-mail: secretary @ auswingriders.com

Meetings are held on the

1st Monday of every month

 

Vice President

Rob (Bear) Harriss 0409 052 218

E-mail: RHMRS @ iinet.com.au

 

Treasurer

Geoff Mead  (07) 5529 5034

E-mail: meady @ auswingriders.com

Next meeting:          5th May 2008

7:30 pm

New Farm Bowls Club, 969 Brunswick Street, New Farm, Brisbane

 

 

John explaining the intricacies of hydroponic parsley growing

Upcoming activities:

 

18/19 April             AWRA (Qld) Inc Annual General Meeting in Warwick

 

4 May                    Victorian Ride to Ballarat and back to Melbourne

 

18 May                  Lunch at Rudd’s Pub, Nobby

Sheila a true biker babe, is a third grade teacher.  Every Tuesday they have show and tell in the class room. Billy always brought a sack with some kind of fruit, and would say “Guess what I have in the sack teacher”? She would respond “Oh an apple”, he would say “No, an orange” or she would say “A pear”, “No, a banana”.

 One day he walked by her desk and some liquid dripped out, she tasted the liquid and thought that’s familiar. Billy turned to her and said guess what I have in sack today, she said, “I know you have pickles”.  He looked at her for a moment wondering and said, “No it’s a puppy”.


 

The Editor Writes…..

The President Speaks….

The Secretary’s Desk….

Gidday all,

It saddens me to put this magazine together this month.  Why?  Well, as you go through the stories you will find a short story from Mary talking about how they have sold their wing.  Mary has been a prolific contributor to Wing Notes over the years and I will miss her stories.  It means I will have to find more jokes to fill the gaps.

Now it wasn’t Lionel and Mary that got me into this group or at least the group it was before AWRA but it certainly was them who befriended a bloke from the bush and got me to become part of the Goldwing group and also the local Ulysses group.  Lionel and Mary have been avid motorcyclists, Goldwing riders and Ulyssians for many years and I for one will be sad to no longer see them and enjoy their company on our rides.

Over the past 11 years, we have shared a friendship, rides, stories, motel rooms, quite a few beers and the odd bottle of port.  Therese and I wish them all the best as they move into a new phase of their lives knowing our lives will be the poorer for their change.  All the best guys, but I don’t know if Lionel will be able to stay away for too long.

On a lighter note, the AGM is on this month and we have a great contingent coming along and this should make it one of our biggest ever.  Congratulations to the Victorian members making the journey.  We look forward to seeing you again.  Not only that, we have a lot of new members who have joined in the last few months and they will be attending their first AGM so here’s hoping they have a great time.

For those of you going on the Friday we will see you there, for the rest, see you on Saturday for the photo.

Ride safe and don’t become a statistic.

 

Bevan

Hi all,

Well, this is the last one of these that I will write in this club year. I won’t pre-empt too much my final Presidents Report for 2008 that will be presented to the AGM, but I will say that this has been a very rewarding club year for me.

We had great rides, great socials, and the club is in very good shape. I believe that together we are achieving everything that the club founders wanted to achieve when this club was first mooted.

I was a founding member, but it was others that had the concept, put the package together, and did all of the spade work that saw the club commence. We should all thank those people for their efforts.

I have accepted a nomination for the Presidency again next club year, and if re-elected, I will be working with all of our members and the new Committee to continue to shape the club into something that all of you will be just as proud as I am to belong to.

I can only encourage all members to participate to their full extent in the club. Volunteer to lead rides and organize socials without having to be asked, and your rewards will multiply. If you need help to do this, there will always be someone that will lend a hand.

Write short articles about your travels and experiences, or if you have expertise and helpful hints, submit those to the magazine so we can all benefit. It doesn’t have to be about Goldwings, just things that others might be interested in. Don’t forget to submit your personal profile for the club magazine. This will help others get to know you easier, and you will find other people with similar interests as you. Let’s get together and make the next club year a safe, happy, and rewarding one.

Keep it up

 

Bill Carter

Hello everyone,

Looking forward to seeing you at our Annual General Meeting, and following careful consideration and a special okay from Thommo I have accepted nomination to stay as Secretary.  I am happy to stay as I really do enjoy looking after you guys, and I look forward to another interesting and enjoyable year with you.  Of course, Thommo will be my trusty assistant and will make sure all is in order – he is good like that!

 Our next important decision is our Christmas Party venue, as requested by Bill please get your suggestions to us for the next meeting so we can make the final vote, and make the vital bookings.  In the meantime, check out destinations for our monthly rides, again, they do not have to be long or complicated we really just enjoy riding and your company – keep thinking.

 Now to get this over to Bevan, apologies for being late – must be all the socialising lately!  We are packing the wing tomorrow night, and I will make sure all is in order for our A.G.M.   Bring your coins we have plenty of great Raffle Prizes this year.

 

 

See you soon, and safe riding.

 

Valerie

Reminder:

Annual Memberships are now overdue for renewal especially if you want to participate in the annual general meeting.

Overnite in Armidale

Saturday morning up bright and early, go to Maccas to meet Scott and ride to Aratula. 7am no Scott 730 still no Scott he calls he is broken down on the side of the road, I have just put 10litres of fuel in and see what happens (it goes) moral to the story always keep fuel in your tank they go better that way.

Very late and underway, have to meet Winston in Beaudesert and then meet everybody else at Aratula. We got there around 20 min after departure time so everyone ready to go we get fuel and off we went. What a start to a good weekend, up and over the Gap and the temp drops around 5 deg and me with no jacket on felt it very cold but only for 5 min then back to normal.

began the nights entertainment and what a night.

Food drink and more drink what a night with friends, then the most upsetting part of the night as I look forward I see Thommo’s builders crack. I said to Clint get the BBQ sauce and give Thommo a shot of sauce.  Well, without hesitation Clint grabs the Tomato sauce and begins to squeeze until Thommo jumped so high, then the whole crowd began crying as the tears just kept coming from the Laughing. (not very nice Thommo I have talked to Clint and told him never to do that again) SOORY MATE!!!!!!!

So Sunday came around BBQ breaky and off we go to Dorrigo via Waterfall Way and what a great time of year for this beauty of the area and a road that is great for bikes. We have a stop at a waterfall for pics then onto the next town for morning tea.

Coffs Harbour is next and most of the crew are leaving us

We headed off to Stanthorpe to visit our little club family out there, we get there and we had tea, coffee, Apples and the greatest apple peeling machine I have ever seen, food, food and more food and did I say APPLES well they must have bought the farm next door as there was APPLES everywhere.

So off from there after the local newspaper took so pics of us all there on the wings, with Hans in the lead we headed for Armidale. With some bikes needing fuel we stopped and then off again. Hans stayed with us for a while then did a U turn and headed for home. We arrived into Armidale and went to the caravan park to unpack and get back into town to buy the goodies.

Coles still open we get our dinner group size, back to the park to start drinks and then BBQ. With around 14 bikes and 1 that had leaved us in Stanthorpe we had a great turn out for this ride, so

here and heading for home, Clint, Charlene, Scott, Winston, Phil and Vick and I stay on to have a ride around Coffs, lunch then drop in to see Bob and Fran at the motel for afternoon tea.

With all that done we are heading for home with Clint in the lead to take us a different way to Grafton instead of the Highway. What a great ride that was good views and good road for bikes.

Ballina seems to always have rain and did it do that, Scott was the first to turn off the highway and then Phil and Vicky then ME, Clint Charlene and Winston headed off to Brisbane.

What a weekend thanks to all that came I hope you had a great weekend as I always do on that ride.

MEADY

Halfway to Armidale

Due to a family commitment, Therese and I had to cancel out of the Armidale run.  Our plan was to go to Stanthorpe, have smoko with John, Gwenda, Hans and Georgie then go to Toowoomba for a visit with me mum in Toowoomba about 2 o’clock, then home about 5:00pm.  What’s that they say about the best laid plans…..?

Seeing the rest off about 11:45 we continued to chat to John and Gwenda, the subject of Goldwings did come up, until about 12:45 then we headed to the Old Caves Winery for some port.  This led to an educational session

about port, and some tasting, with John’s brother until I realised it was 1:45 and we still had to get some fruit.  While we loaded the fruit, I then had to ring mum and tell her that 3:30 was looking more like it.

Coffee and afternoon tea meant we didn’t roll in home until about 6:45 just as the sun was setting.

We had barely walked in the door when the phone rang and who would it be but Thommo, Meady and the gang enjoying their night in Armidale.  Thanks guys, wish we’d been there with you all. 

Bevan and Therese

ONE MORE ARTICLE…………….

Arrived home, looked in the garage and there was this big space where our beloved orange wing used to be.

 It has been hard to accept the fact that owning and riding a Goldwing is no longer going to be part of our lives.

That may sound melodramatic, but those who know us, know how much enjoyment we have had on that bike and the previous magenta ( purple) Wing.

Since 2006 we have not been as involved in the A.W.R.A. as much as we used to be and I guess this has made it easier to sell the Wing. We’re glad it is

going to Bob and Fran and hope they get heaps of enjoyment out of owning it.

Will we get a lighter bike???  Not planning to as the space in the garage will soon be taken over by the 260Z, which, with the caravan and Land Rover Discovery, will help fill our leisure time.

Lionel has been re-building “the Z” and it will be on the road before long. To all of our friends in A.W.R.A., thanks for your friendship and all the best to you all.

 

Mary and Lionel

When a Grandma Goes To Court

Lawyers should never ask a Mississippi grandma a question if they aren't prepared for the answer.

In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmother, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, ‘Mrs. Jones, do you know me?’ She responded, ‘Why yes I do know you Mr Williams. I've known you since you were a boy and frankly you have been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you are a big shot when you haven't the brain to realise you'll never amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.

The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do he pointed across the room and asked, ‘Mrs. Jones, do you know the defence attorney?’

She again replied, ‘Why yes, I do. I've known Mr Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention that he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him.’

The defence attorney nearly died.

The judge asked both counsellors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice said, ‘If either of you two idiots asks her if she knows me, I’ll send you both to the electric chair.’

Skills update

I had heard about a training session being run on Saturday morning.  After making some enquiries and checking the social calendar, Clint and I booked in. 

Arrived at ProKawaski at Springwood for a 9am start.  It is $15 for approximately 4 hours. The maximum number of participants is 10. The course will cycle through various Pro shops on Saturdays.

The session starts off with a bit of a talk in a room. Trainer Jim Crooks talked us through the techniques we would be learning. The course is designed for riders who are licensed and would like to update their skills.

Outside we rode to a nearby service station to learn about smooth throttle control using a push method through the thumb and smooth and efficient clutch control and up gear changes. We rode for a while to practice these techniques.

Stopped again before a stretch of low speed (speed limit 60) corners. This was to reinforce turning technique of look right, push right go right. A new for me technique was pushing down on the peg that would be on the outside of the corner. We also covered braking before the corner and smooth throttle control through and out of the corner. Back on the bikes to practice.

Next stop was before an 80kph speed zone with corners. This was for further practice of what we had just learned and at a higher speed to feel that more pressure is required the faster we travel.

One more stop at a service station to have a chat about what we’ve just learned and to have a drink/bite to eat/cigarette. We’re set to go back to base along some of the road we just travelled and a rat run through some suburban streets that has great corners, roundabouts and hills. All this is practice at the legal speed. It’s not a race.

Back at base it was into the classroom again to have a wrap up session and say farewell.

For me this was four hours and $15 well spent. I’ve never had instruction on how to ride a motorcycle. I got on our Honda 90 and rode around our yard. Later on as an adult I paid for lessons that were just get on the bike and ride around for an hour. On one of the lessons, the instructor said to me “you have a funny way of cornering.” Me being a young smarty replied “well I got around didn’t I?”. That was the level of my instruction.

Many years later I’m back on a motorcycle and feel that there’s more I need to know. I’m doing OK but I feel I could do better. Today’s outing has given me some great tips on how to improve and they’re techniques that I can practice every time I’m on the bike. I don’t need to be on a track to practice. The controlled environment of a track may well be the next formal session of learning for me but in the meantime, I’ve got some new skills to work on.

Charleen

Pot Luck Dinner

Saturday 22 March, it is 1500h and all preparations have been completed for the Pot Luck dinner. We are expecting about 17 members to turn up, including Lindsay, our long lost brother that has ventured far and wide since our last meeting.

At about 1530h the first to arrive from the Goldwing owners group, Larry and Annette turn up, from then a steady stream of members from both groups arrive. By the time I locked the front door there were 8 members from the Goldwing RIDERS and 7 from the owners group (woozz’s).

After a few drinks to wet the tonsils the food was served, and what food it was. Absolutely tantalizing tempters were made by all. The cooks in our club have gotta be the best around. Well done to all.

I’d like to tell you more of the nights festivities, however as we all know, what happens at a pool and spa party stays at the party, so unfortunately that is all I can say about it, suffice to say that all those that attended had a *^$#)*&^!~ great time.

 If you need to know more then you’ll have to attend the next one, so you can have the time that those here had.  Those that did attend have all sworn an oath of secrecy.

Till next time.

Phil and Vicki

PS. Sorry that there are no pictures but State laws prohibit the publishing of photos taken on the night.

Six packets of mothballs, please,” said an old lady to the chemist.  “But I sold you six packets yesterday.”

“I know, but my aim’s not very good and I keep missing them.”

Armidale Week-end Ride – 15th/16th March 2008.

We do not leap out of bed, but we did get going really early this Saturday morning – we are going for a ride – yippee.  We arrived at the BP Aratula to find almost everyone enjoying their coffee already, and we had only just beaten Meady and Scott who were running late.  So we had time for a lovely cuppa, raisin toast and chat. Made a phone call to the Zanatta’s to let them know we should arrive at the Parsley Patch by 11 am, and Gwenda let me know that Hans was going to meet us on the highway just at Stanthorpe and pilot us in – how good is that!

Hooray, Meady and Scott arrive (who mentioned the fuel?)  We are keen to get on the road and we made wonderful time meeting up with Hans at 10.30 am and we rolled into the pretty Parsley Patch much to the surprise of Gwenda and John earlier than planned.  But what a delightful time we all had with our Stanthorpians, even Georgie played hookie from work to join us for a cuppa and chat.  John made an impromptu tour showing members his farm, and the local journalist arrived and was duly impressed with the ensemble of wings.  Have to admit it was very hard to leave the Zanatta’s, but we have a highway to meet, so it was time to say good-bye, and this is where the Bradfords also parted company with us, and we started our next leg of our ride.

Glorious day for riding, and there was not much chattering happening even though Vicki had her own button!  We arrived at the Armidale Caravan Park at 4.30 pm, and as quoted by Neville – “we bring our own queue” so we duly queue up to check-in and park our wings.  Meady was very efficient and most of the boys went shopping for the barbeque requirements, bar necessities and fuel and we are almost ready to PARTY!!

While the boys went shopping I made a phone-call to Ian ‘the Doc’ (friend of the Zanatta’s) and as locals to Armidale he and his wife and friends did drop in to check out the wings and had a quick chat with us before going out for their evening meal in Armidale.  NB.  They were not riding their wings as their farms were not wing friendly for night riding.

Party time, and in no time at all we were re-arranging the camp kitchen furniture, and the boys had the

barbeque fired up and a fabulous smorgasbord of  meats and salads set-up.  Again, almost magically an amazing amount of biscuits, chips and dips appear together with glasses of wine, spirits and beer.  I could not compete with Vicki and Kay’s party recipe of 3 different glasses and kept filling them up!!  No doubt this prompted the very serious interrogation given to our newest members Bob & Kerry by us ladies at the bar (Annette, Helen, Kay, Vicki and me)!  Questions were quick and very personal (answers? - stay in Armidale!!)

Well, we were partying very well until our lights were dimmed, and we realised that it was 10 o’clock in NSW time, so we duly tidied up and we all actually bade goodnight and headed for our cabins – must have been a long day!  Thommo and I have no trouble sleeping, and as usual we ‘slept’ very well.  However, I woke with a jolt when I heard a wing starting up and I checked the cabin clock – 7.30 amwaa.  I shook Thommo with a yell that we wouldn’t have time for breakfast that we had to just get ready and go. 

You cannot imagine us rushing, but we did and I was just on my way to the camp kitchen, when with sheer relief I realised that the cabin clock was on NSW time!!  We were not late after all, phew.  Again, credit to

Meady – we had enough from our evening meal to give us a hearty breakfast, so thanks again to our very efficient cooks – Helen, Winston, Morag, Meady, Charleen and Clint we enjoyed a wonderful breakfast together with a group of very tired under fifteen footballers.  We couldn’t be too sociable this morning as we had to get on the highway for our trip home.

Departure was 8.15 am and we started down the Waterfall Way towards Dorrigo, and it is a glorious road and it was rather chilly.  I was more than pleased that I was in my warm all-weather jacket, after all it is south of Tweed Heads!  We made a quick stop in Dorrigo, and I mean quick, just a stretch of the legs and then we were heading down the highway for a little town called Bellingen.  Parking our wings under the large shady trees, trying to protect them from the shower that was the end of a good drop of rain we had just missed.  Time for our ‘portable queue’ at a very cute café, and we ordered coffee and scones that were absolutely delicious.  We had a pleasant stop here, and then it was time to hit the highway – next stop Coffs Harbour.

Cruising and occasionally racing to catch-up with the front group we pulled into the fuel stop in Coffs Harbour and realised that it was getting late, and this is where Thommo and I left the group to start the last leg for home together with the Mackenzies.  We also said goodbye to Bob & Kerry who were going to visit family in Coffs Harbour.  So rather reluctantly we left the majority to enjoy the sights of Coffs Harbour, and we four headed for home making a short detour to call in to see Bob & Fran at the Motel.  Thanks to Bob & Fran for a very welcome cuppa and chat.

More enjoyable sights along the highway, and we pull into the golden arches at Grafton for a lunch break.  The is the Mackenzies old stomping ground, and we found out the reason why Macdonalds is up above ground level, it floods regularly around there – there had to be a good reason to make us climb the stairs!

Now we are just going home, and it is all familiar territory and the highway was saturated – we again had


missed a really good down pour of rain, how lucky we are.

Final stop is Reedy Creek BP, and this is where we say good-bye to Helen & Neville, and I changed into my Honda summer jacket, we are getting close to Queensland – warmer.  We arrive home at 6.30 pm and it is just unload the bike, hang-up the jackets and helmets and phone-calls to the girls to let them know we are home safe and well.

Wow – what a great week-end.  Thanks Meady for the ride and organising us all so very well.  Thanks to every-

An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has been living with for the last 40 years.

The Wizard says, "Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you."

The old man says without hesitation, "I now pronounce you man and wife."

one for making it such a special week-end, and thanks to the Zanatta’s for their super start for our week-end.

Thommo and Valerie.

March 2008.


AUSTRALIAN WING RIDERS ASSOCIATION (QLD) INCORPORATED

QUEENSLAND RIDE and SOCIAL CALENDAR

Date

Destination

Ride / Social Event

Ride Leaders

18 – 19 April

Ride

TBA

Jackie Howe Motel, Warwick.  Friday and Saturday nights – AGM to be held 4:00pm Sat evening before dinner.

Committee

26 April

Social

TBA

 

 

18 May

Ride

Nobby

Meet at BP Blacksoil at 8.30am to leave at 9.00am.

Bring smoko, buy lunch at Rudds pub at Nobby.

 

24 May

Social

TBA

 

 

26 May  1 June

Ride

Townsville

Ulysses AGM

 

Ride Coordinator  - Clint Lovell – Tel: (07) 3398 3437

e-mail: clinton @ lovell.com.au Clint’s a/h mobile 0418 192 040

RIDE DATES; Unless otherwise arranged, rides will be on the 3rd Sunday of the month, and Social rides, the following weekend, with other social events as announced through the year.

** Ride Leaders: Please check the details of your ride and let me know of any changes.  Ride leaders are also asked to organise 2 raffle prizes for their ride. Suggested value approximately $10.00 each. Raffle tickets will be made available from Eric Madjeric.

IMPORTANT: Even if you have not finalised the details of your ride, just supply the start time & location, the general direction of the ride, and the meal arrangements.

** Ride Leaders: Please provide a short pre-ride briefing that outlines the basic safety precautions that we in the AWRA like to observe when riding in groups, and a little about the ride and the rest stop locations.

PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY ON RIDES:

·        Each motorcyclist is responsible for at least the following;

·        The roadworthiness of your vehicle (including trailer)

·        That you are in a fit condition to control the vehicle, (including trailer)

·        Make sure you have a full tank of fuel before departing on a ride.

·        That you obey all the traffic rules and ride in a safe manner.

·        That you ride in a considerate manner that does not endanger, or unnecessarily inconvenience other road users.

·        To be correctly attired for safe motorcycling.

·        To have fun and enjoy the day, and the company.

Thanks for all those that have offered to organise rides and socials; that is what makes this club so great.  If you are yet to conduct a ride or organise a social, please start to plan something so that when your turn arrives you will be ready. You don’t have to wait to be asked, just let me know.

 

 

Is there something that some club members are not telling us?  Maybe a silent business venture.


AUSTRALIAN WING RIDERS ASSOCIATION (QLD) INCORPORATED

VICTORIAN RIDE and SOCIAL CALENDAR

Date

Starts from

Ride / Social Event

Ride Leaders

04 May 08

Ride

Mobil service station on Nth ring road 

Melbourne, Sunbury, Woodend, Malmsbury, Daylesford, Cheswick, Ballarat, Depending on time maybe back to Melbourne via Meredith, Anakie, Bacchus Marsh then Melbourne.

John G

Note:

·         Rides depart 9.30 am sharp

·         All rides will be approx 300+ kms

PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY ON RIDES:

·        Each motorcyclist is responsible for at least the following;

·        The roadworthiness of your vehicle (including trailer)

·        That you are in a fit condition to control the vehicle, (including trailer)

·        Make sure you have a full tank of fuel before departing on a ride.

·        That you obey all the traffic rules and ride in a safe manner.

·        That you ride in a considerate manner that does not endanger, or unnecessarily inconvenience other road users.

·        To be correctly attired for safe motorcycling.

·        To have fun and enjoy the day, and the company.

Thanks for all those that have offered to organise rides and socials; that is what makes this club so great.  If you are yet to conduct a ride or organise a social, please start to plan something so that when your turn arrives you will be ready. You don’t have to wait to be asked, just let me know.

 

 

Once upon a time there lived a king. The king had a beautiful daughter, the PRINCESS.

But there was a problem. Everything the princess touched would melt. No matter what - metal, wood, stone - everything she touched would melt. Because of this, men were afraid of her. Nobody would dare marry her. The king despaired. What could he do to help his daughter? He consulted his wizards and magicians.

One wizard told the king, "If your daughter touches one thing that does not melt in her hands, she will be cured." The king was overjoyed and came up with a plan.

The next day, he held a competition. Any man that could bring his daughter an object that would not melt would marry her and inherit the king's wealth.

THREE YOUNG PRINCES TOOK UP THE CHALLENGE.

The first brought a sword of the finest steel. But alas, when the princess touched it, it melted. The prince went away disappointed

The second prince brought diamonds. He thought diamonds are the hardest substance in the world and would not melt. But alas, once the princess touched them, they melted. He too was sent away sad.

The third prince approached. He told the princess, "Put your hand in my pocket and feel what is in there." The princess did as she was told, though she turned red.  She felt something hard. She held it in her hand. And it did not melt!!

The king was overjoyed. Everybody in the kingdom was overjoyed. The third prince married the princess and they both lived happily ever after.

Question: What was in the prince's pants?

M&M's of course. They melt in your mouth, not in your hand. What were you thinking??

The barn at Larry and Susan's farm burned down, and Susan called the insurance company.

Susan: "We had that barn insured for fifty thousand and I want my money."

Agent: "Wait just a minute, Susan... it doesn't work quite like that. We will determine the value of the old barn and provide you with a new one of comparable worth."

Susan, after a pause: "I'd like to cancel the policy on my husband."